The Married Deacon Debate

There is a married deacon debate I would like to bring to your attention.

In 1 Timothy 3:12 - NIV Paul wrote that:

“A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.”

The word of God here means that a Deacon must be a husband and have one wife which means that he must be married to one woman. It goes on to say that he must be a father because he is to manage his children and finally it says that he must – continuing the sentence - have a home because he is to manage his household well.

Some argue that a Deacon don’t have to be married, have children or even have a home or household.

When Paul says “Must Be”, it means that he is required to be.

The Dictionary states that the verb "must" means...

“Be commanded or requested to” and the noun is “An imperative need or duty: requirement”

The word must cannot be modified to say “Don’t have to” be.

The Merriam-Webster Thesaurus says the verb "must" is:

“To be under necessity or obligation to” and the noun must is: "Something necessary, indispensable, or unavoidable"

The Thesaurus offers the following for the word must:

Be obliged to, Be required to, Have got to, Have to, Should.

The word “should” falls into the same trap. Some say that should means can which implies they don’t have to be married etc, however, the verb "should" means “To be under necessity or obligation to” as in the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus and the past tense is "shall".

If we were to change the verse to read:

“A deacon don’t have to be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well”

...then it would mean that he don’t have to be married and if he is then he can have two or more wives and don’t have to manage his children - if he has any - or household well.

What some imply is that the verse should have those references removed from it so that it reads:

“A deacon” and that lists no qualifications of a Deacon in this verse and we must not change the word of God.

The same can be said of the Overseer or the Pastor in 1 Timothy 3:2 – NIV:

Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach”

Here the verse would read:

Now the overseer don’t have to be above reproach, don’t have to be the husband of but one wife and don’t have to be temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable or able to teach”

...which would mean that the pastor don’t have to be above reproach or honorable, can be married to more than one wife at the same time, can be unpleasant, don’t have to be self-controlled, don’t have to be respectable, don’t have to be hospitable and don’t have to be able to teach.

Is that what you would want or should have in your pastor?

I was raised to believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God and was to be taken literally not loosely.

Paul himself said in 2 Timothy 3:16 - NIV that:

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”

We cannot just pick some parts of the Bible as inspired and other parts as not inspired and we cannot question or change the inspired word of God.

John wrote in Revelation 22:18-19 – NIV:

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city

...which are described in this book. Here John was writing only about the Book of Revelation however this should apply all of Gods word in the bible.

In the NIV, the term: "Must Be” is found 128 times in the Old testament and is found 42 times in the New Testament.

In the NLT, it is 222 and 60 respectively.

So are we to change Must Be to read Can Be in each of these passages?.

1 Timothy 3:12 and 1 Timothy 3:2 are not the only times that Paul says “Must be”. So should we change Must be here to don’t have to be or even can be? I say No.

1 Timothy 2:12 - NIV

I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she MUST BE silent.

1 Timothy 3:2 - NIV

Now the overseer MUST BE above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

1 Timothy 3:12 - NIV

A deacon MUST BE the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.

Paul’s letters to Timothy are not the only places he uses the term Must Be as in the following so should we change must be here to don’t have to be or even can or may be? Again I say No.

2 Timothy 2:24: In this case would be very troublesome for it would read:

And the Lord's servant must quarrel and he must not be kind to everyone.

1 Corinthians 14:26 - NIV

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these MUST BE done for the strengthening of the church.

1 Corinthians 14:34 - NIV

Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but MUST BE in submission, as the Law says.

2 Timothy 2:24 - NIV

And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he MUST BE kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Titus 1:6 - NIV

An elder MUST BE blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

Titus 1:7 0- NIV

Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he MUST BE blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.

Titus 1:8 - NIV

Rather he MUST BE hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.

Titus 1:11 - NIV

They MUST BE silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain.

I'll take the married deacon debate even further. In other translations of this passage nowhere does it say don’t have to be, can or may:

International Standard Version
Deacons must be husbands of one wife and must manage their children and their families well.

New American Standard Bible
Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households.

GOD'S WORD Translation
A deacon must have only one wife. Deacons must manage their children and their families well.

King James Bible
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

American King James Version
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

American Standard Version
Let deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Bible in Basic English
Let Deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their houses well.

Douay-Rheims Bible
Let deacons be the husbands of one wife: who rule well their children, and their own houses.

Darby Bible Translation
Let the ministers be husbands of one wife, conducting their children and their own houses well:

English Revised Version
Let deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Webster's Bible Translation
Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children, and their own houses well.

Weymouth New Testament
A deacon must be true to his one wife, and rule his children and his own household wisely and well.

World English Bible
Let servants be husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Young's Literal Translation
Ministrants -- let them be of one wife husbands; the children leading well, and their own houses

Hopefully, this will put an end to the married deacon debate!