IN LOVE WITH MY LORD
JESUS CHRIST

by Susan
(Ireland)

Well I don't really know where to start. If it wasn't for Jesus I would have been dead. From the age of 9, I was trying to take my life. I'd been abused over and over again by my brothers and their friends. My mom got rid off me because she met this new man, so i lived on my own at the age of 10. I got myself a job, of course I lied about my age. I was born with a bad disfigurement and my dad would make me go under the bed if anyone came over. He would hit me and my mom a lot of times, so I was glad to get away from him. He would also make me go outside if it was snowing.


Time passes and I meet this lovely man, but soon after i got married, i started getting ill. I started having dreams about my past, like a dream when I was on the school bus and the boys pulled me to the back. I cried out to the bus driver but he wouldn't help me. Then i was playing in a field and a man pull me in a graveyard. It happened again and the dreams were real! All the times my dad made me kill kittens with my hands and all the hitting and not being wanted by anyone really hurt. All I knew was pain in my life.

Then one day I met Jesus, but things still happen. I re-married, but to a monster who raped, hit, and tried to drown me. I got pregnant. He said he will kill me if I left him and the kids.

Words can't say what I had to live with but in my heart I believed Jesus would help me. My ex came home one night drunk. For 2 hours he hit me. Somebody next door called the police. The next think i see is a paramedic with me in the front room. I had a heart attack. My children were crying, but I was in peace because of Jesus looking after me.

That was the end off the marriage. Since then, I've done a lot of work for Jesus, including helping the homeless. I am still ill with a bad heart, but my Jesus is still with me. I have done a lot of wrong in my life, but if you go to Jesus with your heart, he will always be there for you!

Many more horrible things have happened to me in my life since. I am 49 now. I follow my Jesus. i still do have a lot of pain in my heart and I've had nervous breakdowns. I still find it hard to live with what happened to me. Some have told me to write a book. I don't know if Jesus wants me to.

I am married again with a lovely man of god who puts up with my illness.

Please help me in prayer to get through another day. Please pray that Jesus will take this feeling of loneliness away and that I can love again without fear of getting hurt. Please pray for me to be a good mom, but most of all, pray for peace in my life and that I can attempt love again. Please pray for my husband and his children. Please pray for Ann, Katy, Vicky, Kim, Harry, and my grandchildren. I have 3 lovely girls and 9 grandchildren and 2 step children.

I wanted people to know Jesus is there for you in the dark valleys in your life and he shows you the way. I want to thank Jesus Christ and my heavenly father for being with me all the days of my life.

Thank you for reading this. I ask you to pray once again for me to live and to be loved and to love others and be a good wife.

Love,
Sue